The Dictionary Past and Present: The Work of a Drudge?

  The Dictionary Past and Present: The Work of a Drudge?

                                                                            Published in Marietta Daily Journal Nov. 22, 2015

            In the spirit of merry old England’s most famous dictionary writer, I offer below some more current definitions.  The words defined are not alphabetized but are discernibly clumped according to the broad topics of politics, culture, and language.

            First some background.  In 1755, seventy-three years before Noah Webster composed a simplified dictionary for frontier America, England’s Samuel Johnson penned his massive work titled “A Dictionary of the English Language.”

            The purposes of the American and the Englishman were quite different.  Webster’s purpose was to fashion a language that “men do use.”  He sought to define words as they were understood and used by the majority of Americans.  Webster also wished to introduce a slightly more phonetic spelling system.  For instance he took the “u” out of the British “labour” and “colour.”  With these and other such changes, Webster initiated the distinction between British English and American English. 

            Johnson, famous for his line, “To be tired of London is to be tired of life,” produced his dictionary more out of fun than a desire to educate the masses.  His landmark dictionary was as much a playful display of his prejudices as it was an attempt to codify the vocabulary of English.

An example is his definition of “lexicographer”: “a dictionary writer; a harmless drudge that busies himself tracing the signification of words.”  For a definition of “to blab,” Johnson wrote, “To tell what ought to be kept secret.”  Prejudice is writ large in his definition of “excise”: “a hateful tax levied by common judges, the wretches hired by those to whom the excise tax is due.”

            While speakers of English owe much to these 2 “drudges,” an update of definitions is always in order.  In the following update I will, like Johnson, cast mild judgment on each word or phrase.

Racist – any statement or person with whom a liberal disagrees.  Liberal – any statement or person with whom a conservative disagrees.

Libertine – a libertarian gone crazy; one who gives a good libertarian a bad name; a near anarchist.

Atheist – one who believes there can be a meal without a cook or a design without a designer; a proponent of the religion of atheism.  The New Atheism – the old atheism.  

Evangelism – efforts made to promote a belief, philosophy, or political candidate; today’s most passionate evangelists being atheists and political consultants.

Abortion – termination of an unborn baby presumed not to be a human being (or not yet) and presumed to have no right to be born in the first place.  Family – human civilization’s oldest and smallest unit of government; currently under assault by America’s highest unit of government, the Supreme Court.  Moloch – god of the ancient Phoenicians for whom the Phoenicians “passed their children through the fire,” sacrificing them by burning; akin to the modern American practice of passing unborn children under the knife or burning them with saline solution.

Sanctuary city – a city that grants refuge to lawbreakers; precursor to the “sanctuary state” like unto California and Vermont, the two states furtherest away from Middle America.

Playboy – a womanizing, promiscuous man; also a 62-year-old magazine which, having reached its goal of sexualizing the nation, considers its mission complete and no longer runs pictures of nude women; the initiator of the Sexual Revolution.  Sexual Revolution – a term referring to America’s journey from sexual responsibility and marital fidelity to acceptance of nudity, co-habitation, out-of-wedlock births, free love, and disease often got thereby; a revolution without any winners.

The Great Failure – title of an upcoming book detailing how the election of a black president did nothing for racial healing; a reminder that consistent building of friendships and relationships one by one is the key to social stability and unity.

Contemporary Christian music – a name for extremely repetitive, often wailful, rock-oriented music; good in that it centers on praise; bad in that it is often, though not always, commercially-inspired; lies in contrast to hymnody which emphasizes theology instead of how faith makes you “feel”; always loud, even for worshippers with hearing problems; occasional rhythms not unlike those heard at the local bar.

Think outside the box – a tired expression that needs to be locked up inside the box.

How come? – a perfectly legitimate expression common in the Southern half of the nation; a clipped form of “How do you come to that (conclusion)?”; a phrase often scoffed at by Yankees.

At the end of the day – an overworked, empty expression used by politicians who are at the end of their vocabulary.

Columnist – one who pontificates and aggravates even when his observations are no more worthy than anyone else’s.

Roger Hines

11/18/15