Lunacy,
Thy Name is Corporate America
Published in Marietta Daily Journal (GA) April 29, 2023
How odd that
corporations, whose chief purpose has historically been to gain more customers
in order to make more money, have turned their attention to social goals. They’re telling employees and customers what
they should believe about every social issue of the day. As though Big Brother weren’t increasing his
tyranny daily, primarily via his unelected, regulation-loving bureaucrats, Corporate
America has become his lackey. Examples abound.
Transgenderism?
Embrace it, you lowly, unenlightened customers who have made us the big
corporations we are today. Forget biology. Male and female is an ancient social
construct that has outlived its usefulness. If you shop in our stores you may
use the bathroom of your choice. If you’re what we formerly called a male and
wish to be considered what we formerly called a female, assert yourself and go
apply to play on any sports team that tickles your fancy. Throw off the idea
that there are innate physical differences between so-called males and females.
Don’t let today’s conservative bigots deny you your happiness. Big Sports will
support you all the way, as will most members of the National Chamber of
Commerce, though not necessarily your local chapter. Don’t worry about those
Republicans. We detached from them sometime back. They talk too much about
local control and Mom and Pop businesses.
Equity?
Embrace it also. The goal at our corporations is to treat all people fairly.
Yes, we want your business, but for you and all the other middle class folks
who have made us great we desire equal social outcomes. Join us as we attempt
to make America equitable again. One of our goals is equal numbers of Blacks,
Whites, Hispanics, Asians, and Others among our employees.
The
LGBTQ Lobby? Look, we love all the children of the world. “Red and Yellow,
Black and White, they are precious in our sight.” Remember this ditty from long
ago? Well, we apply it to sexuality and marriage. We need to drop the time-worn
belief that men shouldn’t marry men and women shouldn’t marry women. Accept the
fact that all of those traditional views of human sexuality are so yesterday.
We’ve accepted the modern view. With glee.
Free
speech? Ok, we believe in free speech, but anything can be carried too far.
Consider the deserved plight of Fox News anchor Tucker Carlson. This guy was
rightly fired for disinformation, misinformation, and whatever else it’s being
called. Right after his last show he gave a speech to the Heritage Foundation
and made references to prayer, knowing quite well that there are many people in
America who don’t believe in prayer. Carlson, the creator of the most watched
cable news show ever, is a bigot through and through as are the millions who
watched him. We know that many of our customers love Carlson, but we still
believe that he “does not appeal to our better nature,” if we may use one of
our tired liberal lines.
Higher
Ed? Yes, we corporates have given our
fair share to our universities. How could we not? After all, they have been
faithful, just as corporations have to be, in promoting and protecting their
“brands.” Universities are smart. They
understand that to recruit students they must spark things up a bit with
palatial buildings and resort-facility dorms. Gotta hand it to conservative
state legislators, though. They’re right when they claim that universities
spend too much money on branding and too little on educating their students.
However, just as we like for customers to stay with us, so do universities like
for students to stay with them for five, sometimes even six years, to finish a
four-year degree. But hey, we corporates need higher ed just as we need the
media.
Oh
yeah, the media? Look, we own the media, and in more ways than one. I mean,
you’ve heard of Disney’s ABC News Network? That’s a corporation. Fox News?
That’s the world wide Fox Corporation. Oh, there are smaller networks but we
rule the roost when it comes to news and entertainment, Mr. Carlson
notwithstanding.
Our
sincerity? Well, the wokest of us all, CVS, has put it best in its “Guidelines
for Supporting a Colleague who is Transitioning.” CVS is out there ahead of all
of us. I know, seems weird that a place where you get your medicine would
lecture employees about “proper pronouns,” but their customers either don’t
know of their wokeness or don’t care.
At any rate, join us in
changing America. She’s merely one of many nations in which we do business, but
we need her still.
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