Is our Language getting to be a Mess?

                                   Is our Language getting to be a Mess?

               Published in Marietta (GA) Daily Journal, 5/19/19

So …, if global warming doesn’t do us in, repetitive or prissy words and phrases will.  That said, at the end of the day we’re talking about an existential threat to the nation.  I mean, the way we’re throwing around repetitive, prissy words these days, who can understand anybody?  Like, what’s wrong with plain words?

            So … another thing.  About the two words “existential threat.”  I used them in the paragraph above just to see how it would feel.  I can tell you I feel awful for doing it.  I know what a threat is, but every time I hear somebody on television say “existential” threat, I screw up my face a little bit and sit there, praying that the word will soon die.

            But it’s not dying.  Last week I heard it 5 times during a 10 minute conversation between a cable news anchor and a member of Congress.  Speaking of conversation, “let’s have a conversation.”  That’s another jewel that’s going to drive some of us to insanity.  The first time I heard it was when Hillary Clinton was announcing her candidacy for president via video and concluded by saying, “So … let’s have a conversation.”  Ah, was it Hillary who in-artfully initiated the “So …” craze as well? I’m ready for a conversation on how to kill off “Let’s have a conversation,” as well as on “We can have that conversation.”

So …, back to “existential.” I’m sure it refers to existence, so am I right to assume that an “existential threat” is a threat that threatens our existence, say, like the sun itself, since it’s supposed to burn us up in about 12 years?

Another word is “issue.”  I have an issue with the word “issue.”  Talk about abuse.  It used to mean “topic,” as in the issue of inflation, slavery, or the misuse or overuse of certain words.  Today it means anything you want it to mean, but typically people use it when they mean problem.  So …, I don’t have an “issue” with arthritis; I have a problem.  Believe me.

Not to offend members of the therapy generation, but I’m also skittish about the word “bonding.”  Look, I’ll befriend you, support you, defend you, give you a little money, or hug your neck, but please don’t require that we “bond.”   Let’s just become the best of buddies and leave it at that.  I didn’t say I was against touching.  I’m not.  I’ve been around hundreds of teens and young adults who, I firmly believe, were not touched enough.  But they didn’t need any “bonding.”  They needed a little more attention and loads of encouragement.

Speaking of the therapy generation, may I never make light of depression or any other such emotional needs, but our heightened emphasis on therapy is an indication that many of our emotional needs have been manufactured.  According to Dr. Peggy Drexler, a New York-based research psychologist, today’s 20-and 30-somethings are turning to therapy more frequently and far sooner than their age group in any previous era.  With such changes come the changing language and new words.  “Self-care” and “life coaches” are now very much with us.  And what do life coaches recommend for self-care?  Bonding.

As for clichés, don’t get me started.  Let’s just “bring to the table” all of them we’ve ever utilized (that means “used”) and “put them to bed.”  Then let’s start with “a level playing field,” avoid “mixing apples with oranges,” and do our best to “change the culture” at our workplaces.  Truth is we just need to have a funeral – I mean, “memorial service” – for all the pretentious language any of us have ever used.  That done, we should all have “closure.”

Closure can never arrive, though, for those who insist on saying “firstly” for “first.” Or “hopefully” for anything.  “Hopefully” should be shot at daybreak.”  It is a cheap, non-think convenience that is right up there with “issue,” and I do have a problem with it.  Not an issue.

I don’t mean to sound like a language stickler.  The people I grew up around used clear, understandable English.  They busted many a verb, but they still knew how to speak plainly and respectfully.  I understand that language, like dress, is social adaptation.  You put it on or take it off, depending on the occasion.

But you always, always avoid saying something like “Never end the life of a water bird that can lay ovoid bodies composed of the precious yellow metal” when all you mean is “Don’t kill the goose that lays the golden egg.”

Roger Hines

5/8/19