From Culture to Self-Culture and Narcissism
Published in Marietta (GA) Daily Journal, 4/28/19
When
the Greek mythological figure Narcissus, thirsty after hunting, comes upon a
pool of water and leans down to drink, he falls in love with his own image. Seeing himself in the bloom of youth,
Narcissus assumes that no one could ever love him as they ought or as his image
deserves. Writhing in passion for
himself, Narcissus melts away and becomes a beautiful flower.
Art,
they tell us, is the imitation of life.
More and more there are examples of life imitating art: youths
committing crimes they saw in movies, or even acts of real life heroism
inspired by fictional heroes.
No
doubt imitation still works both ways.
There are at least two areas in contemporary society in which imitation
is taking place, dress and music.
Americans are a nation of copycats. There was a day when I was required to stand
at my classroom door and, among other responsibilities, stop the boys whose shirts
were not tucked in and point them to the boys’ restroom for a slight wardrobe
do-over. Today men of all ages are wearing
un-tucked shirts. Why? I suspect because
“everybody else is doing it.”
Don’t be surprised if within five years a
sizable number of men are wearing dresses.
If a presidential candidate publicly and passionately hugs and kisses
his husband on the occasion of his candidacy announcement, men in dresses
shouldn’t be a shock. Once a month,
tucked into the weekend edition of the Wall Street Journal is a glossy, thick
magazine of style that is already showing males modeling dresses.
Oh,
the lonely life of a toxic male like myself who still believes males are males
and females are females, who considers the expression “self-identifies” as hoo-ey,
and who has to explain why the Philadelphia 76’ers Coach Brett Brown wasn’t out
of line when he told his players, “You’re playing in a man’s gym and you need
to act like it.”
Coach
Brown and most other coaches, I suspect, regret that public ritual behavior has
succumbed to personal freedom.
Individualism now runs amuck, resulting in a diminished appreciation of
the team, the family, the civic club, and indeed the larger culture. We now
have an increased elevation of oneself and one’s own ‘druthers.
In
his book titled “Bowling Alone, America’s Declining Social Capital,” Harvard
professor Robert Putnam argues that individuals are increasingly disconnecting
themselves from other individuals and from society as a whole. Putnam is right. In regard to dress, Americans have lost all
sense of “occasion.” Ragged is OK, no
matter where you’re headed. Having
reached the soul’s basement, more and more people care less and less about
dressing up for anything. What I want to
wear is what matters, not the occasion.
That’s narcissism, self-absorption at its worst.
Today
college students rail against conformity, all the while wearing their
conforming, copycat uniform, namely, tattered jeans. Their self-absorption exceeds their sense of
community.
Where
I grew up, the poorest of the poor knew what “Sunday best” was and honored it
as a social norm. But today stultifying casualness
is our ethic. “Toxic masculinity” has
its good side, and I admire the coaches I’ve worked with who still teach boys
to be men, even in dress.
Music,
too, is a compelling art form, and it too provides confirmation of Professor
Putnam’s argument. Nothing is more
obvious than the present generation’s addiction to music. How did Scottish patriot Andrew Fletcher put
it? “Let me write the nation’s songs,
and I care not who writes its laws.” No
wonder. Music is the most primitive
expression of man’s rawest passions. The
purpose of civilization (education?) is to tame, inform, and direct our raw
passions. If our passions are barbarous,
warlike, or sensual, hard rock can certainly feed them. Plato wrote that in order to take the
spiritual temperature of a society, we must “mark the music.”
Guess
what kinds of music most high schools feed to students during lunch, at pep
rallies, or during halftime at basketball games. Let’s just say it’s music that feeds the
passions instead of civilizing or educating them. But, “we’re here for the kids,” so we give
them what they desire (and already have).
Civic
club membership, PTA involvement, and family dinners have waned significantly
since 1995. “Social capital” is losing
to disconnectedness. Solutions do exist:
refuse the isolation of the cell phone, eat family meals together, join
something, and don’t be a copycat.
And
remember. The Narcissus tale is a
myth. In real life we don’t become
beautiful by withdrawing and admiring ourselves, but by giving thought to those
around us. To our culture, that is.
Roger Hines
4/24/19
